The Conversation You Avoid Usually Gets More Expensive

As I made my way through the week, a common theme kept showing up. There was stress, drama, frustration, and genuinely upset people. The situations were all different, but what it boils down to is one thing: lack of communication. People avoiding hard conversations, not passing along information that’s important, or assuming someone else will handle it.

We had a client this week who unfortunately had to walk away from a contract on a new build. During construction, several things that had been contractually agreed upon were changed, including two-by-six construction being changed to two-by-four and the insulation being downgraded. The buyer wasn’t told and discovered the changes during a walkthrough. Maybe there were legitimate reasons. Costs change, materials change, and we all know the economy is a little crazy right now. But had someone simply communicated those changes before making them, I really believe there may have been a way to work through it. Instead, the buyer felt blindsided, trust was lost, and the contract was vacated.

And that was really the theme of my week. So many of the problems we deal with become much bigger than they ever needed to be because somebody didn’t communicate. Phone calls don’t get returned, important information isn’t passed along, expectations aren’t clearly explained, and people are left trying to figure out what’s going on. Before long, something that probably could have been handled with a five-minute conversation has turned into a much bigger problem.

As a leader, this one hits differently for me because communication isn’t something I can expect from everyone else and not hold myself accountable for. If the people I lead don’t know what’s expected of them, that’s partly on me. If something is changing that affects them, they deserve to know. And if there’s a hard conversation that needs to happen, it’s my responsibility to have it. Leadership isn’t just communicating when the news is good or when you have all the answers. Sometimes leadership is saying, “Here’s what I know, here’s what I don’t know yet, and here’s what we’re going to do next.”

We spend an incredible amount of time trying to fix problems that probably wouldn’t have become problems in the first place if someone had just picked up the phone and had a conversation. And this isn’t just real estate. This is business, leadership, marriage, friendships, families and life in general. Sometimes we avoid conversations because we don’t have all the answers yet. Sometimes we know the conversation is going to be uncomfortable. And sometimes, if we’re being truthful, we just don’t want to deal with it. But avoiding the conversation rarely makes the problem go away. Usually, it gives people time to make assumptions, and that’s when the stress and drama really begin.

Good communication doesn’t mean everyone is always going to agree. It doesn’t mean you’re always going to like the answer, and it certainly doesn’t mean every problem can be fixed. But people can work with information. They can ask questions, negotiate, adjust expectations and make decisions. What they can’t work with is information they don’t have.

The longer I’m in business and the more people I lead, the more I realize that communication is one of the biggest responsibilities I have. I don’t always get it right either. There are times I could have communicated sooner, explained something better or had a conversation I put off longer than I should have. But leadership requires being willing to recognize that and do better the next time.

We don’t always need some complicated solution. Sometimes we need to pick up the phone, tell people what they need to know, listen to what they have to say and be willing to have the uncomfortable conversation. Communication won’t solve every problem, but whether you’re leading a company, representing a client or sitting across the table from someone you love, it can keep a lot of problems from becoming bigger than they ever needed to be.