Before You Offer a Solution, Maybe You Should Ask a Better Question

Leadership is such an interesting path. The longer you’re in a leadership role, the more you realize that people start looking at you differently. They see your position, your accomplishments, your business, and sometimes make assumptions about what you need without ever taking the time to understand what you’ve actually built.

I find this particularly interesting when it comes to the number of self-proclaimed leadership gurus, business coaches, and recruiters who randomly show up in my inbox offering solutions to problems I don’t have. They have the perfect system, the perfect strategy, or the next big thing that’s going to transform my business. And while I appreciate that everyone has something to sell, I can’t help but wonder how much more effective their approach might be if they started with a question instead of a solution.

What if, instead of telling me what my business needs, you asked me what challenges I’m currently facing? What if you took a genuine interest in understanding how my business operates, what’s working well, and where I see opportunities for improvement? Better yet, what if you asked me what I’m trying to accomplish before assuming you have the answer?

I think we have a tendency in the coaching and leadership development world to throw a blanket over an entire industry and assume everyone underneath it needs the same thing. We develop programs, systems, and strategies that worked for someone, somewhere, and then try to convince everyone else to follow the same path. But our personalities are different, our teams are different, our markets are different, and our goals are certainly not all the same. Even two businesses that look nearly identical on paper can have entirely different challenges.

I believe wholeheartedly in coaching. I invest in my own personal and professional development, and I genuinely enjoy helping other leaders grow. I’ve seen firsthand how valuable it can be to have someone challenge your thinking, offer a different perspective, and help you recognize opportunities you might not have considered. Leadership classes, training programs, and mentorship are incredibly important, but good coaching begins with curiosity, not a sales pitch.

When I have the opportunity to coach another team owner, I’m far more interested in understanding their business than immediately telling them how I run mine. I want to know what their goals are, what their numbers look like, how they’re holding their people accountable, and what they believe is standing in their way. Sometimes the problem they initially describe isn’t even the problem we ultimately need to solve. You don’t discover that by walking into the conversation with a predetermined answer.

A thoughtful question can cause someone to look at their business differently, challenge an assumption they’ve been carrying around for years, or recognize something they’ve been avoiding. Sometimes they already know the answer. They just haven’t had someone ask the right question to help them find it.

I’m incredibly proud of the business Ryan and I have built, and I’m happy to share the systems, processes, standards, and lessons that have helped us get here. But I would never assume that another team owner needs to build exactly what we’ve built. Their definition of success might look completely different from ours, and that’s perfectly fine. The responsibility of a good coach isn’t to create a carbon copy of themselves. It’s to help someone else become more effective at achieving their own goals.

And maybe there’s a lesson here that goes beyond coaching. As leaders, how often do we do the exact same thing with our own people? How often do we jump into problem-solving mode before we’ve taken the time to listen? I know that’s something I’ve had to work on myself. When you’re accustomed to making decisions and solving problems, it can be awfully tempting to start fixing things before someone has even finished explaining what’s wrong.

I’m not interested in blanket management or one-size-fits-all leadership. I’m interested in meaningful conversations, thoughtful questions, and solutions that actually address the challenges people are experiencing. I want to learn from people who are willing to understand my business, just as I want to understand the businesses of the people I have the privilege of coaching.

So, to all the coaches, consultants, recruiters, and leadership gurus out there, I have a suggestion. The next time you’re tempted to jump into someone’s inbox with the perfect solution, consider starting with a genuine conversation instead.

You might be surprised what you learn when you stop trying to sell the answer and start trying to understand the question.